all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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