you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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