Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
