Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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