it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
