Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
