The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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