His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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