As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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