so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
