As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me youโre kidding.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
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