the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
