you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You ruined the universe
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
