I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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