I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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