You just made me feel so damn special
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
