Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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