We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
