Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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