Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just pynch a tree in the face
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
