I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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