In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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