Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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