What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
