Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
