I am in a vortex of obligation.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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