quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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