Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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