god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
