I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Farmville is her only friend.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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