wakey wakey hands off snakey
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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