thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
