Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
