But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
