he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
