I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
organizing the empties. That sober.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
