It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
