she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
