Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i dont even know how to be here
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
