Well apparently he's into motor boating.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
