seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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