Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
