yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
