I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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