As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
