So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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