Dual....:-)
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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