is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
