I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
