Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Houston, we have a squirter
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
