I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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