i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
