I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
