I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Will exercising make me less horny?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
