I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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