You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
