we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
